Lately, I realized that I was, for a long time, not a good steward of my body. I have already grown sickly and became ineffective in doing my tasks. I feel burned out and it was very difficult for me to recover. I have always been busy and stressed. I do not feel comfortable anymore and I have become irritable.

I know I need a change of lifestyle but because I am always busy, I did not know when to schedule that change. I have been working for one project after the other, one activity after the other, one commitment and so on. My life went on chasing time, deadlines, meetings, etc. I know I need a break, sometime off with myself. Yeah, I did have a break but I felt that wasn't enough until I do not change some of my attitudes toward work and toward my own self.

My body already started to fail me. I usually suffer from colds, headache, body pains and I always feel sick. Overcoming stress has been difficult. There are disputes — my mind over my body, my will over my strength. After sleep, I still feel tired. I know what I considered rest wasn't really rest but just a pause. The essence of rest did not really come. I still think of many things while in bed and worry about matters I should not be worrying about.

I always thought that I need balance among the things that I am doing — career, ministry, love life, family and friends — yet, that thought remained a thought and I wonder how I will realize that.

Though my legs ache after the first two days of jogging together with a friend, I think that is a good start for the change I am planning. I am just hoping that this will be for long. I need discipline; to go to bed early and wake up early, then jog then have my quiet time before doing anything else or going to the office.

I did not know why I have waited for so long before realizing that I need to take care of myself, to stay fit and healthy so I could be more effective and happy. Now I am determined for a change. I can't afford to lose myself and later on all that I have. I think that my first ministry should be my own mind, body and soul; and I should keep those in order.

So help me God.